30 Days to Better

Frustration; Shredheads

I don't think I look too good right now. 

This is, of course, all very, very relative. 

October of last year was the highlight of my self esteem high from months of sweating it out with Jillian and her blasted 30-Day Shred. 

I bitched and whined about it a lot, but the truth is, Noah stopped sleeping through the night sometime during that month and when the sleep deprivation reared its ugly head I caved under the pressure and gave up the one thing that could have kept me mentally on top of my MOM-game.  I stopped exercising.  It wasn't a conscious decision but rather I just got a bit derailed.  One week I only worked out twice and then only once and then I got sick and before I knew it I hadn't seen a pair of spandex anything in ten days and then it became two weeks and two weeks became a month and then we were sick again and a month became m-o-n-t-h-s.

I know this isn't news.

I know I'm not an anomaly. 

Many people take on exercise routines and things and life get in the way and they  get, you know, derailed. 

My stomach is flabby and it hangs over my waistband.   My arms are not as toned and don't feel as strong.  I have lost the hint of obliques that I was once so proud to see, albeit, shocked.   It is my fault.  Sometimes I blame Marc for "letting me get off track" and what I mean is that I wish he had noticed that I wasn't exercising and had come to me and said such and then pushed me toward the treadmill and reminded me to make no excuses.   But, he is my husband, not my trainer and not responsible for my choices. 

I want to blame.

I want to cry and yell that it isn't fair. 

I have to just ... get back on track.  

I am not starting from zero.  And I know how much I can do.   I know that I can walk on the treadmill on an incline for thirty minutes and then run for thirty more.  I know that I am capable of Level 3 on the 30-Day Shred, but I'll stick with Level 2 thankyouverymuchhere'smylung.  

I need to schedule better.  I need to stop making excuses and just do it. 

I'm asking you to hold me to it this time so I'm joining the Shredheads.

I will post my weight, shred-plan and goals soon ....

May's Rainy Days

We had a solid week of rainy weather so you'd be safe to conclude that I didn't get much outdoor exercise.  I did however do some indoor exercises.

I still can't seem to replicate the energy level and intensity that I felt a few months ago and I attribute that to a variety of factors.   I am "close enough" to my goals that I have lost focus and I wonder if I'm almost afraid to push ahead further.  There was a time last fall when I was in fabulous shape and I was climbing down the scale safely and regularly and I started to wonder what would happen if I outgrew, or rather, un-grew all of my clothes.  I'm not fat by any means but I remain in this place of needing to lose about 10-15 pounds to make clothes fit better and to be at a better BMI. 

What I really need to do is a flat thirty minutes of good cardio exercise I have also been playing around with my weights whenever I'm on the floor playing with Noah. I'll do some push-ups here and a few sit-ups there which I great for fooling myself into a state of fitness but not great for fitting into my jeans.

I'm still battling with myself to just... do it.

May days

I'm taking a break for the month of May from the 30 Days to something Better and reverting to the original intention of this website which was to chronicle my efforts on weight loss. 

I don't want to make yet another blog about weight loss and the ultimate fabulousity of the 30 Day Shred, but I make no promises to avoid mentioning it.  I am resolving to eat more protein and veggies and less animal crackers dipped in whipped cream.  I bought fat free chocolate yogurt today and some 100-calorie snack packs which are great, unless of course you eat four of them.  Which I did not do tonight.  Just last night.

I exercised tonight and it felt great. I have lost a small amount of strength and gained a few inches in my butt, thighs and waist.  I want to fit back into my smallest skinny jeans and see the obliques I had for such a brief time last fall.

The weather has gotten much warmer here and I had to dig deep into my drawers for some shorts and much to my chagrin, they didn't all fit so well.

I am giving myself  one month to feel better, look better, lose about five pounds and regain my confidence and my physical strength.