30 Days to Better

Day 30: Challenge Met.

I did the 30 Day Shred today.  And I did Level 3.

I know.  I KNOW.

What this means is that I have now done the 30 Day Shred a full thirty times.  In fact I have been doing it much longer because I only started keeping track on September 12.

I began with Level 1 and it almost killed me dead.  I was a sweaty breathless heap on the floor and my legs were so sore that I couldn't walk up the steps for days without the painful reminder of what those squats actually did to me.  I bravely moved up to Level 2 and looking back I think this is the hardest level of all, really.  I was actually surprised at how easy it was, or should I say, how hard it wasn't?  After I did the workout and then early the next morning I was a little sore but I feel fine now.

I was really just afraid of what Jillian could come up with, I was expecting something exponentially harder than Level 1 and 2 combined and it really wasn't, in fact, Level 1 and Level 2 prepared me for the final Level of the Shred.   I have gained muscle and strength and stamina and I was prepared. This isn't easy for me to say because I still don't see myself as fit or in-shape but I am strong, and I suppose this SHRED thing really DOES WORK. 

Now that I have completed my own 30-Day Shred Challenge I will continue to do this workout. I want to master Level 3 and then attempt to do a long workout of Level 1 and 2 combined.  These are my long term goals that I hope to meet by the end of the year.   I have seen results and I hope to see more!!

Day 29 and A Sharp Realization

My one month 30-Day Challenge is almost over, in theory, tomorrow.  But I am going to keep going, of course!

To recap where I've been,  I went on vacation for a week and then came home desperately needed to recoup my sanity and my schedule.  I'm still working on it.

During my vacation visiting my in-laws I had originally well-intended to exercise daily!  I wanted to go running (90 degree Florida heat and 3000% humidity be damned), I wanted to take bike rides and visit the gym a few times too.  The reality was that I went for one bike ride,  three long-ish walks and went to the gym one time for not long enough.  I did eat well though.  When I got home last Thursday I went to the gym Friday, did 30DS Level 1 on Saturday and the gym again on Sunday.  Monday I went to BlogHer ...  Tuesday I sat on my fat ass and called it a day of "relaxation" and yesterday I got it together and did 30DS Level 2. 

In my past life I would have said, "well, shit, sickness, vacation, I didn't achieve what I wanted to so I failed, bring me the ice cream and the tub of hydrogenated-oil laced chocolate icing, please and don't forget the whipped cream!"  Instead, I'm choosing to tell myself that THIS IS LIFE.  I got sick. I gave the baby my cold. I went on vacation to visit my in-laws.  LIFE GETS BUSY. And setting goals to exercise is KEY.  Setting super-high goals is okay too, it gives you a new paradigm to work towards and if you just accomplish half of your goal you didn't necessarily fail, you in fact, stayed on course and did achieve more than nothing.  So, um, success?

When I realized that if I just changed my thinking about my  time away from daily exercise I could change my entire mindset about where I was in reaching my goals I felt a contentedness that was brand new to me. 

I reached my first weight loss goal and for a few days I felt lost. I didn't know where to push myself next.  Pre-baby weight achieved. Clothes fit. Now what?  But, I have always been a little too-heavy. I have always wanted to be healthier, leaner, more muscular and more fit, so that is what I'm aiming for now.   I want to lower my body fat and become more lean.  I enjoy feeling strong and healthy.  It is empowering and mind-opening.

Day 20: I took a walk and did a crunch

This working out during vacation thing is very hard.

I took a long walk in the morning with the stroller and did some Jillian - inspired crunches when I got home. 

More to come soon ... maybe this isn't so much of a "vacation" ....

Day 19: A Sunday in Florida

First full day of vacation and I went for a good long bike ride.  It was lower impact than I usually do but it felt good to mix it up a bit and get some exercise while on vacation.  I watched my diet well which was easy because we haven't been eating out. 

More to come soon about keeping healthy and not totally annihilating the diet while on vacation ... after I drink this Corona and slather on sunscreen.  Kidding!!  I'm not having a Corona yet, it's barely NOON.

But seriously ... I am still on track.  I'm feeling good.  This morning I took a walk (Day 20) and did some crunches, Jillian Level 2-style crunches. I plan to visit the local gym later today too.

Day 18: Travel. Rest.

I did not exercise today and I knew that I would not be able to do so.  That is why I kicked yesterday's exercise up a few notches and really kicked my bad ass. 

I am sore.  I need to rest and sleep and recover.

I hope to go for a nice vacation bike ride tomorrow, maybe also a few mile walk.

What are you doing, are you resting this weekend or working out?

Day 17: Gym machines and my own Jillian routine

I had a morning doctor appointment and then I ran a few errands and then went to the gym at around 1 o'clock.  I had not eaten lunch and I was starting to feel the energy drain but I still felt a surge of energy that I hadn't felt since before I was sick over a week and a half ago.   30 minutes on the Elliptical machine and a made-up Jillian workout of whatever moves I could recall for about 15 minutes and for the first time I actually thought I was going to vomit my lungs.  I felt really bad ass afterwards and I guess that means it was worth it.  I was working extra hard because I doubt I'll get in any exercise time tomorrow as we travel south to visit the in-laws.  

I'm going to keep on my diet as much as I can and I PLAN to workout as much as I can. I'll jog, take long walks, maybe bike ride. 

I'll be  updating from the vacation path too so check back in over the weekend.

Also? Can I confess ... I downloaded the theme song from Biggest Loser onto my iPod.  I know! I KNOW! I am the biggest duffus nerdette EVER but I like the song and it is rather inspiring.  So I alternated listening to that song and Enimen's Smack That.  I know! I'm a little fucked up right now, sorry.

Day 15 - Measurements

Yo! I'm actually about to tell ya'll my measurements.  I'm going public with my bra and hip size. 

To recap, I've been doing the Jillian Michaels 30-Day Shred for about a month now. I began back in late August and I didn't start keeping track until September 12th.   The dates are a little wacky because I lost a week to being sick and rather than say oh well, THAT diet/exercise plan is fucked. I choose (with the extreme encouragement of other amazing women) to say I lost a week to being sick, I took care of myself and got better and here I am, continuing right where I left off.

I'm going to be even more honest.  Being sick, falling behind, not sleeping, and taking care of a sick family left me a little worn thin and oh, rather depressed.  I hate that it crept back into my life so suddenly and sharply.  I wasn't expecting it.  I was moving along all energized and happy and managing life and then a few rough patches appear and it really tossed me out of my game.  Writing this is making me face that and it is also forcing me to reckon with the fact that contrary to what I feel, I am actually doing well, I did not gain weight while I was sick.  I took care of myself and I did stay focused on my goals.  I went to the gym and I pushed myself to workout when I was feeling better and I was proud of myself.   I'm not good with self-appreciation and I'm not good at being kind to myself.  Mostly since puberty I've been in a constant cycle of self-loathing thigh-hating belly-pinching zaftig dysthymic inertia.

I'm working on this. It's heavy. Stay with me, please.

So here we are the first day of October (one of my favorite months, LOVE the fall weather) and as I have done since March 1, 2008 I weighed in this morning and took some measurements.

MARCH 24, 2008 (Baby: 3 mos. old)
165 lbs
Hips: 41 inches
Waist: 38 inches
Thigh: 25 3/4 inches
Arm: 12 inches (of soft shaky flab)

SEPTEMBER 1, 2008 (Baby: 8.5 months old)
150.2 lbs
Hips: 39.5 inches
Waist: 34
Thigh: 24 1/4

OCTOBER 1, 2008 (Baby is 9.5 months old)
146.4 lbs
Hips:     37 inches
Thighs: 23 1/2
Waist: 33
Arm: 11 1/2
Body Fat: 29.1%

In one month I lost four pounds, two and a half inches from my hips (bless you Lord Jillian), three-quarters of an inch from my thighs, one inch from my waist and almost 1% of body fat.  I'm really struggling to lower my body fat. It is in an unhealthy range, but it is quite stubborn.  If you have any suggestions please let me know. I work out well I eat well, what else can I do? 

Since March, (7 months) I have lost 19 pounds (12% of my body weight), four inches from my hips, over two inches from my thighs, five inches from my waist (being that I'm losing postpartum weight most of it was in mah belleh) and about a half of an inch from my upper arm.  I have lost just over 1% of my body-fat.  Meh.

I am starting to fit into clothes and sizes that I have never actually seen before and it is thrilling and downright frightening at the same time.   Losing a few pounds doesn't shed your problems or your insecurities it only makes them less flabby.   If you are just starting out on a new healthy initiative, do yourself a favor, take a few measurements, take a few pictures (I wish I did.) because it will help motivate you later and help you realize your goals.

Just start somewhere, if I can change myself in seven months you can make one healthier choice today. 

Day 13 & Day 14 (measure-in tomorrow!)

Well. Shit. Ok, so I've sort of fallen off the wagon a bit.  I was sick and I forgive myself for missing an entire week of exercising.  I'm proud that I didn't gain any weight but I must admit while I was sick and didn't have much of an appetite I was extremely strict with myself and didn't indulge at all. Perhaps if I had eaten more I could have gotten healthier soon. I KNOW.

Today was Day 14 and I'm just having a hard time getting it all together again.  Tomorrow. For Sure. I have a date with Jillian. I'm going to do it in the morning. Before I  have time for excuses and getting busy and before I drink a glass of wine to calm the fuck down. 

Tomorrow is Day 15. It's also October 1. That means I weight in, officially. And measure-in. Officially.  I know I'm doing well I am just scared of not doing more.  I have been here before.  I have been here at this weight and I have given up, slowed down, feared the next step, the pain, the change, the unknow.  I don't know how to get over this other than to just keep going.  But still ... I'm not sure where exactly my motivation is going to come from.  It feels like since I've officially lost my pregnancy weight and then some that I need to dig deeper and actually figure out what it is that I want from this whole weight-loss -- health initiative --healthy living lifestyle thing it is on which I'm embarking.

Coming up tomorrow: my measurements!  (honest ones too!)

Day 11 (Saturday) Day 12 (Sunday) ... Pay no attention to the missing week

Well, I'm calling a spade a sick lady.  And this spade, this sick spade isn't going to pretend that she did anything other than blow her nose and wipe her son's nose all last week.   I swear to you that I felt very guilty about it too.

Last Sunday was Day 10 and I was hopeless.  It's now a week later and I am proud to say that 85% of my cold is GONE.  I cannot say the same for Noah. Sadly.

On Saturday I felt I needed to do something, SOMETHING to combat the week long atrophy and ass-sag that had set in so I did a Jillian Level 1 and I hacked and coughed through the whole thing.  On Sunday I went to the gym  did a slow-paced 45-minutes on the Elliptical and a few minutes of Jillian's moves with the hand weights.  I'm two days away from my First-Day-0f-the-Month Measurement and Weigh In and I'm not NOT going to let myself down anymore. I've done that for 28 years now.

Today is Day 13 and I took a  25 minute walk this morning with the dog and the baby.  I'm very determined to kick my own ass this week. 

I am at a weight that I have seen before, only a few times before.  I am almost wearing sizes that didn't fit over ONE LEG just a few months ago.  I'm really battling the fact that I STILL FEEL FAT. What the fuck?  I am learning that you can lose a few pounds but you are still the same person on the inside.  Tighter muscles and less body fat do not change the way you see yourself.  You have to do that work outside of the gym and I'm still working on that.  Maybe we'll have another 30-day challenge, the mental side? 

My goals for this week: 3 lb weight loss, daily Jillian workouts, a few long walks, regaining strength from a week of being sick, sticking to a good diet with lots of veggies and protein.

30-Day Shred Challenge: Day 7

I don't have much to report for Day 7 because I sort of skipped it. Another day. I know.

Sarah told me last weekend that when you fall off the wagon you just get back on, don't beat yourself up over something this trivial.

I don't know WHY I took on this challenge right now. I have more on my plate than I can handle right now and I have to give some things up and it's really killing me.  Exercise is helping me handle stress and it is making me feel better about myself, but, SHIT, it's hard work and it's hard to make time for it.

Hopefully Day 8 will be better.